With holiday gatherings ramping up, you might find this helpful. If you’re like me, you’ve spent a liftime being irritated by party no-show’s and cancellers, and worse, taking it personally when it—along with a ridiculously large amount of other things in life—aren’t personal at all. 

Reasons why people don’t come to your party:

• They have other plans.
• They (or a family member) fall sick.
• They are introverts and the day of the party, they are too spent to socialize.
• They have a tragedy they’re dealing with.
• They live far away.
• Their partner is unsociable or prevents them from attending.
• They feel embarrassed about their appearance.
• They aren’t comfortable with their social skills.
• They’re worried about not knowning enough guests.
• They have anxiety or depression.
• They are what I term “unavailable people” (who consistently aren’t available).
• They are worried about alcohol or food consumption and whether they can control it.
• They lack true decorum and manners, so they don’t extend you the courtesy of cancelling (or sometimes, even RSVP in the first place) for whatever reason.
• They have kids, and either need to find/pay for a sitter (which may not be easy) or bring them (which may create a whole set of other non-enjoyable issues).

You know what’s not on this list?
They don’t like you.

Most of the time, a no RSVP or late cancellation is NOT PERSONAL.

For folks who regularly decline your invitations or RSVP yes then continually no show, perhaps they don’t warrant an invite next time. I doubt they realize the work or expense you’ve put in to create a terrific party, and never will. Try not to default to taking things personally and instead, embrace the people who show up for you when you’ve showed up for them. Because gatherings are fun and worth the effort, and I’ll bet you throw a great one!