The Self-Loathing Project
A fifteen-year project. Hundreds of women. Varying ages, backgrounds and cultures. One set of questions. The mission: To expose self-loathing and help women overcome the silent debilitating epidemic of self-judgment. Read their stories, think about your own and expand your view.
A fifteen-year project. Hundreds of women. Varying ages, backgrounds and cultures. One set of questions. The mission: To expose self-loathing and help women overcome the silent debilitating epidemic of self-judgment. Read their stories, think about your own and expand your view.
***
In 2004, I started this important project, a quest into exposing and understanding why women had so much self-loathing. I was at the gym and had begun to notice how every single woman I chatted with was lamenting something about herself. For many, it was weight-related, but also for many, a particular body part or shape, sometimes just a blessing from their DNA. And it didn’t matter whether these women had what I would consider an ideal shape or fitness level—what became clear was perception was not reality. I created a set of questions and began interviewing women.
I formatted the interviews into compelling essays—in turns honest, sad, hopeful, evolving, poignant. Women have come a long way in fifteen years, but in this arena, we’ve got a ways to go. I am heartened by so many positive movements out there promoting self-acceptance, and I hope this book and the snippets I share, along with resources and what helped me overcome my own self-loathing, will contribute to the conversation.
Calling All Men
The male version of the book is in process as females aren't the only sex to self-loathe. Males who’d like to answer the interview questions for potential inclusion into the book and/or website, please contact me via the button below, or go to my contact page and request the questions, specifying THE SELF-LOATHING PROJECT FOR MEN in the subject line. Submitters will be asked to give their first name (or a pseudonym) and their age, so it's as anonymous as you want it to be. Your email address will be kept private and only used for correspondence.
I formatted the interviews into compelling essays—in turns honest, sad, hopeful, evolving, poignant. Women have come a long way in fifteen years, but in this arena, we’ve got a ways to go. I am heartened by so many positive movements out there promoting self-acceptance, and I hope this book and the snippets I share, along with resources and what helped me overcome my own self-loathing, will contribute to the conversation.
Calling All Men
The male version of the book is in process as females aren't the only sex to self-loathe. Males who’d like to answer the interview questions for potential inclusion into the book and/or website, please contact me via the button below, or go to my contact page and request the questions, specifying THE SELF-LOATHING PROJECT FOR MEN in the subject line. Submitters will be asked to give their first name (or a pseudonym) and their age, so it's as anonymous as you want it to be. Your email address will be kept private and only used for correspondence.
EDITORIAL REVIEWS
“The Self-Loathing Project is an honest and eye-opening view, describing how so many of us feel as women. Each of us has something we are carrying around. Some of the stories were heart-wrenching, some of them inspiring, but all of them moved me in a way that made me feel bonded to each and every one of these brave women. It felt like I was sitting in a living room listening to a group of friends just tell their stories and I wanted to wrap each one of them in a hug. I believe we can all relate to every message. A wonderful read.”
—Jenn Lefebvre, blogger and influencer, A Healthy Makeover
“This book really touches on something important to all women—and the author has given it a voice and a space for discussion. The variety of ages is impressive, as is the variety of responses and candor of these women. I particularly like how the author bookended the interviews with upbeat, clarifying content. Her introduction sets the tone for what the reader is about to experience while her closing chapters and supplemental material bring the interviews together with understanding and hope. An amazing collection that is well curated and crafted.”
—Viqui Dill, blogger and musician, Happiest when Folks Sing Along with Me, 5 stars on Amazon
"What makes this piece wonderful is that it is not a lecture or self-help book designed to guilt the reader into a life change. The Self-Loathing Project is a simple, running testimonial that brings focus to a trivialized element of the female psyche. Its rawness creates an overall arc of normalcy. This heightens the sensation that self-loathing is not an isolated, uncommon struggle. The blunt, honesty of the essays makes the struggles comprehensible to any reader, even readers who have not experienced these issues first-hand. I eagerly await Cobb's next work!"
—The Word Count, 4 stars on Amazon
CUSTOMER REVIEWS
"In her latest book, Katherine Cobb hands a microphone to the small voice that’s in all our heads – the voice that tells us we’re too big, too thin, too short, not pretty, not smart enough, not ever, ever, ever good enough. By answering ten pointed questions, the brave women in these series of essays expose this voice with the raw, vulnerable honesty of a support group circle. Then page after page something wonderful transpires. The voice loses its power. By exposing these dark thoughts, by bringing them to light, a sense of isolation vanishes, and through empathy and understanding, the self-loathing voice is told to sit down and shut up. A new sense of self-worth and self-love emerges. Accompanied by beautiful photographs and Cobb’s own experiences and humility (along with a plethora of self-love sources), this book leaves you with new power, hope, and that feeling you get after one big hug."
—Cathy, 5 stars on Amazon
"I read this book in a weekend. I couldn't put it down. At first, I was uncomfortable because it was so intimate. These women in this book are honest, raw, vulnerable, and beautiful. To be able to explain what they don't like about themselves, or have struggled with for most of their lives is admirable. It made me feel like one of them. One of the club members. I think women compare themselves daily to the movie stars and models, however, I can't help think after reading this book and the positive reinforcement the author gives that we are all beautiful! Buy this book. Give to your daughters to read. Buy copies for your girlfriends, and tell them you love them just the way they are!"
—Coco, 5 stars on Amazon
"Really quick read about how women look at themselves in the mirror and constantly judge themselves. When they say that we are our harshest critic, it true. Everyone else can tell you that you are beautiful just the way you are or how well you do something. And it still wont matter until you believe it yourself. Mental blocks hold us back from truly living our lives. Whether it was rejection or not hearing what you wanted to hear. Its just an opinion that is spoken by an imperfect person that should not be held to a hold standard. This book teaches you so much about yourself while reading. The best lesson I took away from this book is that you have to love yourself, flaws and all, accept who you are as a person and to be honest with yourself. I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review."
—Cecilia, 5 stars on Amazon
"I usually don't write reviews however this book touched my core while reading real stories of self-judgment. It wasn't another book telling me how I should improve myself by someone who doesn't know real self-loathing. Well done!"
—BLH, 5 stars on Amazon
"The Self-Loathing Project makes clear just exactly how far-reaching the epidemic of negative self-judgment reaches. It encouraged me to reflect on the way I treat myself. I discovered I was not immune to negative self-thoughts and my story is very similar to so many showcased. But most importantly, as a mother of two teen aged children, I realized I not only have to be kinder to myself for my own happiness but also to show my children how to navigate self-judgment in a healthy way. I am eternally grateful to the writer and all of the women (and men) who shared his/her heartfelt and honest journeys."
—WJFA, 5 stars on Amazon
"A poignant illustration of the common thread of negative self judgement women experience and a battle cry to challenge it. Touching and fierce. Loved it. Buy it, read it, share it!"
—Amazon customer, 5 stars on Amazon
“The Self-Loathing Project is an honest and eye-opening view, describing how so many of us feel as women. Each of us has something we are carrying around. Some of the stories were heart-wrenching, some of them inspiring, but all of them moved me in a way that made me feel bonded to each and every one of these brave women. It felt like I was sitting in a living room listening to a group of friends just tell their stories and I wanted to wrap each one of them in a hug. I believe we can all relate to every message. A wonderful read.”
—Jenn Lefebvre, blogger and influencer, A Healthy Makeover
“This book really touches on something important to all women—and the author has given it a voice and a space for discussion. The variety of ages is impressive, as is the variety of responses and candor of these women. I particularly like how the author bookended the interviews with upbeat, clarifying content. Her introduction sets the tone for what the reader is about to experience while her closing chapters and supplemental material bring the interviews together with understanding and hope. An amazing collection that is well curated and crafted.”
—Viqui Dill, blogger and musician, Happiest when Folks Sing Along with Me, 5 stars on Amazon
"What makes this piece wonderful is that it is not a lecture or self-help book designed to guilt the reader into a life change. The Self-Loathing Project is a simple, running testimonial that brings focus to a trivialized element of the female psyche. Its rawness creates an overall arc of normalcy. This heightens the sensation that self-loathing is not an isolated, uncommon struggle. The blunt, honesty of the essays makes the struggles comprehensible to any reader, even readers who have not experienced these issues first-hand. I eagerly await Cobb's next work!"
—The Word Count, 4 stars on Amazon
CUSTOMER REVIEWS
"In her latest book, Katherine Cobb hands a microphone to the small voice that’s in all our heads – the voice that tells us we’re too big, too thin, too short, not pretty, not smart enough, not ever, ever, ever good enough. By answering ten pointed questions, the brave women in these series of essays expose this voice with the raw, vulnerable honesty of a support group circle. Then page after page something wonderful transpires. The voice loses its power. By exposing these dark thoughts, by bringing them to light, a sense of isolation vanishes, and through empathy and understanding, the self-loathing voice is told to sit down and shut up. A new sense of self-worth and self-love emerges. Accompanied by beautiful photographs and Cobb’s own experiences and humility (along with a plethora of self-love sources), this book leaves you with new power, hope, and that feeling you get after one big hug."
—Cathy, 5 stars on Amazon
"I read this book in a weekend. I couldn't put it down. At first, I was uncomfortable because it was so intimate. These women in this book are honest, raw, vulnerable, and beautiful. To be able to explain what they don't like about themselves, or have struggled with for most of their lives is admirable. It made me feel like one of them. One of the club members. I think women compare themselves daily to the movie stars and models, however, I can't help think after reading this book and the positive reinforcement the author gives that we are all beautiful! Buy this book. Give to your daughters to read. Buy copies for your girlfriends, and tell them you love them just the way they are!"
—Coco, 5 stars on Amazon
"Really quick read about how women look at themselves in the mirror and constantly judge themselves. When they say that we are our harshest critic, it true. Everyone else can tell you that you are beautiful just the way you are or how well you do something. And it still wont matter until you believe it yourself. Mental blocks hold us back from truly living our lives. Whether it was rejection or not hearing what you wanted to hear. Its just an opinion that is spoken by an imperfect person that should not be held to a hold standard. This book teaches you so much about yourself while reading. The best lesson I took away from this book is that you have to love yourself, flaws and all, accept who you are as a person and to be honest with yourself. I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review."
—Cecilia, 5 stars on Amazon
"I usually don't write reviews however this book touched my core while reading real stories of self-judgment. It wasn't another book telling me how I should improve myself by someone who doesn't know real self-loathing. Well done!"
—BLH, 5 stars on Amazon
"The Self-Loathing Project makes clear just exactly how far-reaching the epidemic of negative self-judgment reaches. It encouraged me to reflect on the way I treat myself. I discovered I was not immune to negative self-thoughts and my story is very similar to so many showcased. But most importantly, as a mother of two teen aged children, I realized I not only have to be kinder to myself for my own happiness but also to show my children how to navigate self-judgment in a healthy way. I am eternally grateful to the writer and all of the women (and men) who shared his/her heartfelt and honest journeys."
—WJFA, 5 stars on Amazon
"A poignant illustration of the common thread of negative self judgement women experience and a battle cry to challenge it. Touching and fierce. Loved it. Buy it, read it, share it!"
—Amazon customer, 5 stars on Amazon